Just ten years ago I was a carefree teenager surrounded by people I adored. I had friends I would have taken a bullet for, my life revolved around them. We did everything together, we laughed, we cried, we made mistakes and succeeded together.
Back then, I thought those friendships would last forever. Rather immaturely, I thought we’d always be the way we were. I believed becoming adults with families and homes and jobs wouldn’t make a difference to the bond we shared.
High school ended and we all moved on to further education, initially nothing changed but then we discovered new friends and new hobbies and slowly but surely, we drifted apart.
And then I had a baby…
It was after Mia’s birth that I realised those people weren’t who I’d always believed them to be. Once the initial novelty of having a friend with an adorable little girl wore off, they disappeared completely.
Some just faded away, others became nasty, I felt hurt and confused.
Time passed and I gave birth to Theo, this time nobody rushed over for a cuddle. There were no mountains of cards and gifts.
Of course the few friends that had remained a constant in my life were by my side, but I felt a deep sadness at how differently I had been treated.
Theo is nearly 5 now, Mia nearly 7. The ‘aunties’ I thought they’d have are non-existent. Instead they are surrounded by new people. These people are the best people, they are true friends and we class them as family.
I don’t often think about the ‘old friends’, I try not to dwell on broken friendships and long forgotten grudges. That was until this week, when an encounter with someone I used to love like a sister reminded me of what used to be and I felt compelled to write in a bid to process how I felt.
I guess what I’m saying is, it’s okay to miss people. It is okay to feel angry and hurt at how you are treated by those you once valued, but don’t let bad experiences damage you.
Some people just aren’t good for you.
I’m not saying those people aren’t good people, they just aren’t good for me. They weren’t back then, and they certainly aren’t now.
The sooner we move forward and accept the past the more we can embrace new experiences with real friends.
I’m grateful for broken friendships. Now, more than ever, I treasure those I surround myself with. Do yourself a favour, embrace the friendships of today, have fun, laugh and embrace.
People change and memories fade, it’s time to move on.