Why I Am Against Grandparents Rights.

Why I Am Against Grandparents Rights.

I’m just going to get straight to the point here, grandparents rights are something I am completely against. The idea of a grandparent having to turn to the law to access their grandchild just doesn’t sit well with me. I am not discrediting the invaluable role grandparents have in helping to raising their grandchildren. I couldn’t have done it without my mum, step-dad and grandparents.

As parents, we have the right to control who has contact with our children. More often than not, a parent does not remove someone from theirs or their children’s lives without good reason. Sometimes involving toxic people in yours and your child’s lives can do more harm than good.

Just this year I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I walked away from my relationship with my father and stepmother. My children adored them both, but due to a difficult past, and one too many incidents of violence, I had to turn my back for good. That decision was mine entirely. Other than their daddy, no one else on this earth has the right to decide who should be involved in their upbringing. It was not a decision that was taken lightly and I don’t think I’ll ever fully get over it.

The idea that they could apply for a contact order based on what is essentially just DNA fills me with dread. I spoke out about my troubles with my father, but what about those who don’t?

I hate to sound cliché, but mothers know best. We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Some people don’t talk about past experiences. They simply take steps to ensure that their child does not go through what they did. Nobody need know why that decision has been made, it should simply be accepted.

My mother is an amazing grandmother who adores Mia and Theo. But she doesn’t have a right to my children just because she gave birth to me. She is given the right to be part of their lives by me, because of the positive influence she is. As a grandmother, she gets to savour every moment spent with her grandchildren, but she does not get to undermine me.

Essentially that’s all grandparents rights are, a desperate attempt to undermine parents. I hope and pray that this does not become ‘a thing’, and if it does, I may seriously consider immigrating.

Where does it end? In my eyes, grandparents have the same rights as aunties, uncles, cousins and great grandparents. Their involvement in a child’s life is solely down to what parents feel is best for their child. No contact order, no so-called grandparents rights, should undermine a parents wishes.

If we lose the ability to make decisions about our children’s lives, if we cannot protect them, how are we meant to succeed as parents?

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Why I Am Against Grandparents Rights

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6 Comments

  1. 06/06/2018 / 17:51

    this is something that I haven’t given a lot of thought to and it seems a bit tricky. As painful as it must be to have a grandchild taken from your life because of the spite of a child, I think that in the end there are probably more times when the parent is forcing the separation for a legitimate reason and the wishes of the parent should always come first. Interesting read #dreamteam

  2. 06/07/2018 / 12:06

    Wow. I’d not even heard this might be a thing. I guess there are cases each way. Most of the time I would guess that the parents know best and have the right to choose. Sadly some parents use their children as weapons against the grandparents who are desperate to see their grandchildren. A good think #dreamteam

  3. 06/11/2018 / 12:20

    I can totally understand where you are coming from. I didn’t even know grandparent rights was something people got. The only time I’ve heard of it being applied in the US is in the case of a parent dying and the surviving parent won’t let the kids visit. But the court takes into consideration if there is abuse, emotional disturbance, parent alienation, and what the prior relationship was before the death. So it’s not really something easy to get here. I’m shocked the courts even consider these cases because you are right, parents should get to choose. Take away this choice and what’s next – aunt and uncle visitation? Then second cousin visitation? #DreamTeam

  4. Lisa
    06/13/2018 / 20:13

    Wow, I live in the US & have never heard of this. My parents chose to seperate me from my grandparents as a child and I was sad. As an adult, I now realize it was because my grandfather exposed his other granddaughters to sexual abuse and my grandmother is psychologically abusive. Neither is public knowledge and it would have been horrifying as a child to learn about either of them. This law would have inflicted unnecessary damage on me had it applied.

  5. Lisa
    06/13/2018 / 20:13

    Wow, I live in the US & have never heard of this. My parents chose to seperate me from my grandparents as a child and I was sad. As an adult, I now realize it was because my grandfather exposed his other granddaughters to sexual abuse and my grandmother is psychologically abusive. Neither is public knowledge and it would have been horrifying as a child to learn about either of them. This law would have inflicted unnecessary damage on me had it applied.

  6. Victoria finney
    08/04/2018 / 16:32

    The decision is the parents! The grandparenyt are not parents. They had their shot and screwed it up or whatever. Their time is past. Why can’t they let their kids have theirs? Selfish entitled baby boomers who were promised the world think money gets them whatever they want. Forget the age. you wouldn’t tolerate that from a young person….

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