Motherhood is incredible, tough, but incredible. Deep down I always knew I’d have two children, I’m one of two, as is my Mum, and her brother has two children also. We are all brother and sister siblings too, what are the chances? Some may say I’m crazy for wanting another, maybe I am! The thing is, I just don’t feel like I’m finished with having children. The thought of never giving birth again or cradling a newborn makes my heart ache a little.
As I am currently single, I can pretty much guarantee that for the foreseeable future my womb will remain vacant, but I’m only 25, young enough to fully enjoy having two children safe in the knowledge that my baby producing days are far from over.
There are so many what if’s to consider. If our family grows in the future, what will happen to Mia and Theo’s close sibling bond? I’m sure they have more than enough love to share, but they are such a funny pairing that I can’t help but be concerned about rocking the boat. They both regularly request a baby brother or sister, Mia LOVES little ones, but the reality of another sibling is somewhat different to how they imagine it I’m sure.
My experience of baby loss has heightened my desire for another child, but it has also made me wary of becoming pregnant again in the future. I’m petrified of another pregnancy ending too soon. I know it would
I can’t predict the future or know who I will meet. Will they already have children of their own or will they embrace the two children I already have?
As regular readers will know, this blog has become my career. I am self-employed and incredibly lucky to be able to work around the children. So if I did have another child I wouldn’t have to worry about things like maternity leave and pay. With a little organisation and delegation I could still work throughout a pregnancy and the early years.
I guess I won’t know anything for definite until it happens, if it happens. I’m not sureIn the words of Doris Day, whatever will be will be, our futures not ours to see. One thing I do know is, I have plenty of room in my heart to love another.