In the past, I’ve struggled with finding a balance, and when I found the balance my focus shifted onto wondering where I fit in and if I am good enough, especially in the world of blogging. It took a while to realise that my voice did matter and people did want to listen.
I find it incredibly easy to forget how far I have come.
I’ve appeared in the Daily Express discussing the 2018 government budget, and on both BBC Radio Norfolk and Radio Norwich. I’ve shared our experience of severe food allergies in an article in Healthy Magazine, and myself and Theo have been quoted in Living With Allergies by Emma Amoscato (aff). It’s a short list of achievements, but a list nonetheless, I should be proud of my little list, however, more often than not, that list is pushed to the back of my mind. In its place stands a huge wave of negative thoughts that tramples on my positivity and steals any confidence in my work that I have built up.
I’m not what you’d call a ‘big blogger’, my following and views are minimal in comparison to other fantastic blogs. Many say that comparison is the thief of joy, so with that in mind I’m trying to realise my worth and remind myself of what I’ve achieved so far. It’s a hard mindset to shift, but I am slowly beginning to stop overshadowing my achievements with my own self-doubt.
It’s not just the blogging world that I find myself doubting myself in, I also struggle to realise my worth within my role as a mother, a friend, a daughter, in fact, most aspects of my life have an element of self-doubt surrounding them. I often wonder whether I am enough, whether I’m good enough, fun enough or loving enough. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been convinced that I can be more or do more. What I didn’t realise is, just being and simply doing is good enough.
My children, family, and friends love me for who I am, with or without achievements or gestures. My children wrap their arms around me every evening and give me a big kiss goodnight. At that moment I know I am more than enough for them, just the way I am. I am unashamedly winging it when it comes to motherhood and my little blog may never be a household name, but I am worthy of the praise, love, and friendship I receive.
Accepting that hasn’t been easy. My journey to self-acceptance has only just begun, but slowly I am getting there. Accepting my flaws and celebrating everything I am and do often feels like the mental equivalent of climbing Mount Everest, but I’m doing it – and you should too.